Radio Silence – Why saying nothing was the key to survival

The past couple of months have certainly been a lot different to how we imagined we would be finishing up our year long tour of the UK.

Everything we know has suddenley been turned on its head and people have been finding various ways to get through. We are no different, we have been learning to live a new ‘normal’.

After our trip to Dorset way back at the beginning of March, we travelled back to Hampshire to get the water leak repaired on our Adria. The plan was to then return to Dorset and spend a few weeks touring the West/South West before coming home to swap vans.

Once we realised what was beginning to unfold, however, we made the decision to stay put. We were staying in Hampshire near to our old home town and held off any sort of movement to see what happened next. It was certainly a tough time and very weird, we were suddenly struggling to get even basic supplies because of all the panic buying. 

John was going to begin looking for work once our year was up, that has always been on the cards, so he began searching. One benefit to being in one place and near to our registered address was that he was finally able to get some agency driving work to gain all important work experience. Sadly it only lasted a day as he was mainly delivering food to pubs and restaurants and it was around the time that some had decided to shut. It would have been short lived anyway as only a week later, lockdown was announced. 

Reaching out to the NHS

After the other work stopped, Jon was on the hunt again and had the idea to see if the NHS had anything. Not only for work experience but because he really wanted to help out at this time. Thankfully, he got hold of the agency who recruits for the NHS supply fleet and secured an assessment (and subsequently a job!) the following week in Bridgewater where the depot is based. It wasn’t all plain sailing though as days after his assessment was confirmed, all campsites had been shut due to the pandemic. With nowhere guaranteed to stay, we made the hasty decision to split and live in two separate vans whilst he worked.

I would stay in the Dethleffs in one spot with resources and Jon would take our now repaired and newly kitted out Adria to live in near work. At first the idea made sense but once the dust settled after a few days and it became reality, it did weigh heavy on us both. It was certainly difficult to be apart, especially at a time like this but we knew there were other families with front line workers in the same position. There was a bigger picture here. The attitudes of some towards people in motorhomes and vans didn’t help though.

Survival Mode

He ended up being able to stay in the car park of the Premier Inn opposite his depot after speaking to the security team and explaining what he was there to do. I was first staying with a friend and then eventually took residence on his Sister’s driveway. Finally settled and comfortable, I was able to slip in to a routine of my own once I had got my head around the whole situation.

I will openly admit I suffer with anxiety, sometimes crippling, but I naturally try not to let it show. Sometimes it has a way of coming out on its own though and suddenly stopping with nothing else to do and nowhere else to be, I realised that I had been struggling with it for a little while before this happened. 

I was starting to lose myself. I was afraid of failing

Our lifestyle change freed me and I felt the best I had for a long time travelling and living in the van. But as we were starting to make something of this travel account and blogging, I let past insecurities get on top of me and was no longer enjoying myself. In truth, I was starting to lose myself again. I was so worried about what others thought, about not making a fool of myself and of being rejected. Basically, I was afraid of failing. 

This is why I went ‘back to basics’ while I was on my own in the van for weeks, which effectively resulted in a bit of a radio silence on our travel accounts. I focused on only doing things that keep me well and not pressuring myself to do anything. This meant lots of colouring, some reading, daily walks or bike rides and indulging my interest in Tudor History.

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In addition, it has helped that I’ve had some human interaction still in the form of chats across the driveway with Kirsty, Mark and the kids. It’s something I have come to look forward to! I have also been running odd errands as they need. It’s great to feel like I can do something to help out in return, no matter how small the task.

Jon has said that working is what really helped him as he had a routine to stick to and his time was well occupied. In fact he didn’t have time to worry about much else and got himself in to a nice groove, once he had got used to the night shifts! Aside from the circumstances surrounding his job, he really enjoyed it and hopefully this work experience will help him land future driving work. He has been writing about his experience of driving for the NHS so look out for that on the blog soon. He will also be writing a piece around the Truckmate HGV specific SatNav software which was very kindly given to him by Snooper to use for work.

Looking forward

This all seems a distant memory now that we are back together again, in the same van and safe on the driveway. We have now both moved in to our Sonic and the Pulse is tucked up in storage until it’s return can be arranged. We missed kitty birthdays and the anniversary of us moving in to our van full time but they are small things in comparison to what’s going on and to what others have suffered. We’re just happy to be back together and look forward to exploring again when this is done. 

A final thank you goes out to all those who have supported us at this time. Our friends and family for checking in on us and keeping us sane and a huge thank you to Kirsty and Mark for accommodating us. They have been awesome hosts; I’m not sure what I’m going to do without Dominos Tuesdays or fresh strawberry deliveries on Saturdays!